There is so much to share as i look at the ten years that have been (2004-2014) but first things first.
Tribute to Esther…
(For the first time I choose to be mean with information as I
am sure that Esther Values her privacy. I thank God for her as she begins life
in Israel)
I don’t know whether this qualifies for public consumption
but I guess posting it here makes a beginning of a healing process that I am
not aware of the time that it will take me to easily appreciate that that’s it!
Friends come and go. Some leave with nothing positive to remember about but a
whole sack of pains. Some come and go but what is left is a world of sweet
memories, a lot of unfulfilled promises that may never see the light of the
day. As I bid her goodbye, Esther is this friend whose friendship has all that
would keep on resurfacing even when one would easily want to wish them away and
live like a Gikuyu man who never lost the battle but one who disagreed on a few
items!
It all started at the University of Nairobi. I never had it
as a priority that as I was studying, there was a possibility to start a
relationship on the side lines and effectively manage the two. After I had done my post graduate diploma, I
thought that at the MBA Classes life would be a walk in the park. This was not true as after Continuous
assessment test results were released, I realized that I had not performed as I
would have expected so as I was calling out for the papers, I realized that
there was a student who had scored 29/30 hence withheld the paper as the
student was not present on that day so that I could establish what ‘magic’
she/he had so as to score that mark and
beat me! Unknowingly, this would after a month or so be the beginning of a
relationship that would be the best I have ever been in so far!
As the end of semester exams were around the corner, I
called out for the papers once more after some days and to my excitement, the
paper that I purposefully withheld belonged to a lady that am sure any single
man would give a second look. Either way, it ended there for some time but for
me, I had a reason to go back to her in the near future. With no contacts yet,
I will always be thankful to LinkedIn as I was able to trace this beautiful
gorgeous girl and at a time when she really ‘needed’ me. It all happened after
the Westgate attack as she was working in Westlands near the Mall hence our
constant online conversation gave me an opportunity to ask for the phone number
now that we had at least known each other virtually as I constantly encouraged
her that all was well after the attack and there was no cause for worry.
Everything led to the other and all I can remember was that
we were able to remain very close Friends, Campus mates and more precisely, my
area of specialization was in Human resources Management as so was hers. The MBA project was also in waiting and this
being an area that really gives students a headache; I knew very well that this
was an opportunity to use my experience in project writing to show her what I
was made of! This was also a perfect opportunity for me to graduate with an MBA
and possibly be in a promising relationship. I had to apply an element of
forward thinking here as I was somehow worried that age was catching up and
singlehood was not all that pleasing! (Does age really give men a headache? I
leave that to Analysts!) Thanks heavens we graduated together and had a photo
session knowing very well that that’s the far we could go!
The natural demeanor of this Lady is what knocked me off my
feat as despite having several academic achievements and by then pursuing her
MBA, having a stable job and earning pretty a tidy sum, having been well
crafted by her maker amongst other great attributes, she remained humble,
focused and very firm on her principles about life and that which she holds
dear to her! I must appreciate that for the first time in Life, I can say that
I met a Lady who was not disturbed by her achievements in life who was still in
contact with the reality of life.
Days passed, Months
passed, and school came to an end. With me was a dilemma now that this lady
fitted what I would call a ‘potential’, the issue of religion. I thought that
2014 would not end without I walking someone down the Aisle. I being a Catholic Christian, her professing
the Bahai Faith, we could not agree on who is to leave what and who is to go to
what direction. This issue became so thorny such that it was very easy to part
ways just because we could not converge and share a similar way of worship. (I
learned a lesson here and this is what gave me hope, Jesus does not call for
someone to fight for Him! One cannot confess that He is God not unless the
Father convinces him/her to do so!) Had to make an apology for the number of
times I spent hours nagging her, bashing her on the wall and trying to make her
cross over. I had to eat a humble pie….(Don’t know where true men say sorry)
As an individual, I
must agree that I bungled the whole issue without appreciating that everyone
has a reason to believe in who and what he/she believes in. Instead of being sensitive,
I went very physical (Not physical clobbering though) as in dictating that it is
either she Crosses over or we are no longer one and for her she stood her
ground that matters faith are personal and not subject to coercion and
intimidation! This was the last straw on the Camel’s back as the once promising
romantic relationship was reduced to a mere friendship and after that, no more
hope! 2014 just passed and here is 2015!...(I lost it here big time I must
confess!)
Today as I write this,
at about 1100Hrs, she boarded a flight to Israel. This will see her there for
three years at the Bahai Headquarters as service to her faith. I personally
feel already separated from a very close friend, who never condemned me when
the whole world was busy throwing stones on me when I messed up, a friend who
never condemned me over my past, a close friend who bled so well with my
people, workmates, classmates and who was a whole part of me. I may be crying
over spilt milk like it practically happened to me this morning but all I can say is that there is hope in
Life.
Looking back, meeting
her makes me say this with a lot of confidence. Out there are women who are
well educated, who hold very prestigious positions in their work places, who
earn a tidy sum every month, who are independent minded and know what they want
in life, who remain down to earth and connected to the reality and who are
ready to face marriage with the seriousness that it deserves. That was Esther
for me, I live to fight another day!
Man must Live!
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